Streaming TV services like Netflix have changed how we watch television, dropping an entire season of a series at once for us to binge on. They’ve even breathed new life into “quality television,” a phrase that used to provoke laughs from that insufferably smug type of person who used to brag that they didn’t even own what we all used to call the “idiot box.”

Netflix has mined TV gold from all sorts of settings. Orange is the New Black explores life inside a women’s prison. Stranger Things is a love letter to classic 1980s sci-fi/horror films. And Bojack Horseman takes us inside the world of a half-man, half-horse, has-been TV star who drinks too much. It was only a matter of time before we’d see inside the upside-down world where the IRS unleashes investigators to chase business owners for . . . wait for it . . . paying their taxes.

Ozark introduces us to Marty Byrde, a frugal Chicago-area financial advisor and family man who drives a 10-year-old Honda and resists moving his firm to flashy new downtown offices. (Prudent, right?) One night, he takes an emergency meeting with his partner, where we discover his real business is laundering cash for a Mexican drug cartel. Then Marty learns his associates have stolen millions (spoiler alert: bad move) and watches the boss’s sicarios slaughter them and nonchalantly stuff their bodies in barrels.

Marty, played by the always-slightly-oily Jason Bateman, survives by promising to repay what his partners stole and launder another $500 million. He moves his family to Missouri’s Lake of the Ozarks, meets a colorful cast of local characters, and searches for businesses he can use to ply his trade. Meanwhile, investigators have found the bodies from the massacre and connected them to the partner who split town. Adventure and hilarity ensue for 20 episodes, and just like that, your entire weekend is gone.

As for the IRS, they don’t get all judge-y about how you make your money. They just want their slice of the pie. (Pie is delicious.) But they do get judge-y when you try to pass off cherry pie as apple. That’s a real problem for drug cartels. Their business generates cash, and lots of it. They can’t just take suitcases full of Benjamins to the bank without raising red flags. They need to turn that dirty cash into legitimate funds they can use to buy things like jet planes, islands, and tigers on a gold leash.

That’s where financial alchemists like Marty earn their keep. They find legit businesses (like a struggling restaurant and a skeevy “gentlemen’s club”) to hide behind. They run the cash through the legit business’s books and deposit it in the legit business’s bank. They even pay tax on it. Presto, no more narcodollars! It may not be the kind of business they teach in fancy MBA programs. There aren’t any glitzy national conferences, or PR-minded professional associations with continuing education and ethics requirements. But hey, it’s a living. (Until suddenly one day it’s not.)

IRS agents who target Marty and his ilk are experts in following the money. They partner with agencies like the FBI and DEA to stop crooks from hiding their loot, even when “hiding” means paying taxes on it like anyone else.

Sadly, we can’t help if you get mixed up with a Mexican cartel. But we can help you stop wasting money on taxes you don’t have to pay. So call us when you’re ready for a plan, and have fun binging on the savings!

Fall is officially here, and that means whiskey season is back. Most drinkers probably don’t think much about taxes when they visit their favorite bar or spirits shop. Liquor levies are generally based on volume, not price, so you pay the same amount of tax on a $4 fifth of Olde Ocelot as the swells pay for their $269 Pappy Van Winkle. But did you know that whiskey played a central role in our country’s first tax protest, which took place around this same season 224 years ago?

Turn the dial on the Wayback Machine to 1791. The fledgling U.S. government was struggling to pay off $79 million in Revolutionary War debt. (Today that wouldn’t cover a single F-35, let alone win independence from the greatest empire on earth.) Congress had already hiked tariffs as high as Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton felt they could go, so they were forced to tax domestic products. Americans loved liquor, in part because alcoholic drinks didn’t spread disease (and also because it dulled the pain). So, naturally, Congress slapped a tax on it.

In western Pennsylvania, many farmers distilled their surplus grain into whiskey. Some even used it in lieu of currency. So naturally, none of them exactly raised a toast to the new tax. Out there on the edge of civilization, it sounded a lot like “taxation without representation,” and we all know what happened the last time that was a rallying cry. Resistance began immediately, with area gangs tarring and feathering local tax collectors. By 1794, organized militias were battling federal marshals delivering subpoenas and warrants to distillers not paying the tax.

On September 25, 1794, President Washington federalized 12,950 troops (including future explorer Meriwether Lewis) to put down the rebellion. Then he rode out from the capital to lead the troops himself. Apparently his desk job running the country wasn’t exciting enough! Fun fact: it was the only time a sitting U.S. president led forces in the field until President Thomas Whitmore (played by Bill Pullman) led a force of plucky jet fighters in a desperate sortie against alien invaders in the 1996 popcorn epic, Independence Day. (Don’t bother with the 2016 sequel.)

Washington and his 12,950 troops proved to be maybe 12,900 more than the rebels could handle, and they fled before firing a single shot. Two of their leaders were convicted of treason and sentenced to hang, but Washington pardoned them. (No word on whether they made “dark-money” contributions to the President’s PAC.) Opponents kept fighting the tax at the ballot box, helping Thomas Jefferson defeat John Adams in 1800 and repealing the tax. Still, historians agree that Washington’s success in quelling the rebellion helped establish the legitimacy of the new federal government.

Today, of course, leading troops is an entirely different matter. If the president wants to target, say, terrorists in Yemen, he gives the word to the Joint Chiefs, who pass word down the ranks to an Air Force officer manning a joystick connected to a drone halfway around the world. The whole thing is about as antiseptic as visiting the dentist, at least on our side of the drone. Can you even imagine Barack Obama or Donald Trump saddling up a mighty steed, raising a sword, and leading a colonnade of troops into battle? We’ll wait while you finish laughing. (Now that we mention it, maybe Dubya would have enjoyed that?)

Today, of course, there’s an easier way to pay less tax. You don’t have to assemble a militia or challenge government forces. You just need a plan. So call us when you’re ready to save, and raise a toast to progress!

Some of the world’s most popular board games give players the chance to live out professional fantasies. Aspiring property sharks can cheat each other with the classic Monopoly. Would-be Sherlock Holmeses can track down killers with Clue. Armchair generals can settle down to an evening of Risk. But until today there’s never been a game to let aspiring tax planners outwit the Internal Revenue Code. Shouldn’t that be at least as much fun as figuring out it was Colonel Mustard in the Library with the candlestick?

Well, that all changes in the form of a new board game called “Transfer Pricing: The Game.”

Transfer pricing is the process for setting the value of transactions between businesses under common ownership and control. Let’s say Amalgamated Widgets owns a subsidiary that makes parts in, say, Macedonia, then puts them together here in the U.S. How much should the parent pay for the parts? That may sound boring and technical (because, yeah, it is). So what difference does it all make? Let’s say the corporate tax rate in Macedonia is 10% and the rate here is 21%. Naturally, it makes sense to allocate as much of the profit as possible in Macedonia where the rate is lower.

Of course, tax collectors everywhere are on to the game. So you have to be able to show them you’re transferring at an “arm’s length” price — the same price a disinterested buyer would pay from a disinterested seller. The Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development sets out rules for pricing all sorts of transactions, including tangible items, intellectual property, and even loans.

Now you’re excited to try it yourself! Too bad you don’t own a foreign subsidiary. That’s where “Transfer Pricing: The Game” comes in. The publisher describes it as “the card game that decides who has the most substance. Now available, with an arm’s length price of only $30.” The goal? “You run a subsidiary of Orchid Enterprises and build a substantive value chain, grow income, destroy your corporate rivals, and defend your accomplishments against various Tax Authorities, legal challenges, and business pitfalls. Prove once and for all who is the greatest transfer pricing professional of all time!”

The game is designed for 2-8 players, ages 12 and up. Open the box and you’ll find three sets of cards. “Function” cards represent basic business functions like marketing. “Action” cards drive game play. And “defense” cards provide power you need to defend your actions against various challenges from tax authorities. There’s no board, so technically it’s not a “board game,” but if you’re not comfortable with technicalities, this really isn’t the game for you.

The contest starts when the first player draws an action card and follows the directions (like “audit an opponent”). Once you complete them, you’ll draw another function card and trade it for one of your existing function cards or discard it. To finish a turn, draw a defense card and attach it to a function card or hold it for future play. Look, who are we kidding? The whole thing sounds about as much fun as a group project for an MBA class. Maybe that’s why it recently ranked just #178,162 in Amazon’s “Toys & Games” category.

Here’s all you really need to know. Overpaying your tax is no fun, and tax planning isn’t a game. So call us when you’re ready to play, and get a serious plan to pay less. Then pass GO and find something fun to do with your savings!

Aretha Franklin left this world with a musical legacy for the ages. The Queen of Soul started singing for her father’s “gospel carnival tours” at 12, cut her first record at 18, and scored her first hit a year later. She went on to record 112 hit singles, including 20 #1s and won 18 Grammies. She performed for presidents and even sang for a real queen (of England). When word broke of her death last month, many questioned who on earth could possibly sing at her funeral? (Answer: Stevie Wonder, Jennifer Hudson, and many more.)

Unfortunately, Franklin didn’t leave behind a will. This is especially ironic considering how rock steady she was with her money during her life — even downright paranoid! She demanded payment on the spot, in cash, then kept a handbag with stacks of hundred-dollar bills with her security team, or even right on her piano where she could see it. She had seen colleagues like Ray Charles and B.B. King get ripped off, and she was not about to join them!

Franklin died in her longtime hometown of Detroit and had been divorced since 1984. Michigan law holds that when an unmarried person dies “intestate,” or without a will, their assets go equally to their children. Franklin’s four sons have stepped forward as “interested parties” in court papers and nominated Franklin’s niece as the natural woman to be the estate’s personal representative. But that’s no guarantee that a chain of fools won’t show up with their hands out, especially with an estate valued at $80 million or more. (Not bad for a tenth-grade dropout, right?)

Franklin is hardly the only music icon to spend more time planning their next performance than their financial legacy. When Prince died intestate two years ago, the bitter fighting that erupted among his six heirs set the doves crying. Last year, the estate announced a distribution deal with Universal Music Group valued at $31 million. But five months later, a Minnesota judge let Universal back out after accusing the estate’s representatives of fraud. The judge himself described the situation as “personal and corporate mayhem,” which is something you never want to hear a judge say about you.

Estate planning may be more important for musicians because so many die young. When Doors frontman Jim Morrison reached the end at 27, he left his estate to his common-law wife, L.A. woman Pamela Courson. She died intestate three years later, so it went to her parents. But Morrison’s parents argued his will was invalid because he wasn’t competent to write it. (For some reason, they thought he was under the influence of drugs. How could that be?) Oh, and Morrison had married a previous girlfriend in a pagan ritual that included walking on fire and drinking each others’ blood. Shouldn’t that count for something?

Even proper planning can’t guarantee to prevent complications down the road. Michael Jackson left a valid will and revocable living trust. But his executors are locked in a Tax Court thriller, battling the IRS over how much to value his name and likeness. The estate pegged them at $2,105, reflecting the damage Jackson had done with his generally weird and scandalous public behavior. The IRS pegs those rights at $161 million because, well, he was the “King of Pop.” At least he didn’t leave it all to Bubbles the Chimp!

You may not earn your money performing for the Queen. But you probably still work hard for it. So show it some respect, and don’t waste anything on taxes you don’t have to pay. Call us for a plan to pay less, and we’ll give you something to sing about!

This week’s story is a briny chowder of petty vandalism, tax avoidance, partisan posturing, and flat-out misinformation. There’s probably something in here to offend everyone. So buckle your seat belts and get ready for a ride!

Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has been one of Donald Trump’s most controversial cabinet officials since barely surviving Senate confirmation thanks to the Vice-President’s tie-breaker. It doesn’t help that she’s also one of Trump’s wealthiest appointees. She and her husband Dick, son of Amway founder Richard DeVos, are worth an estimated $1.3 billion. And the DeVos clan, befitting their place on the Forbes 400 list, enjoy the usual collections of homes, jets, and ten (ten!) yachts that you would expect a family of billionaires to maintain.

Last month, news broke that someone had untied Betsy’s 164-foot yacht Seaquest from its dock on Lake Erie. That’s maybe newsworthy on its own — the vessel cost $40 million, which means damage could have been significant, and Lake Erie isn’t exactly known for random drifting superyachts. But what really drew fire was the news that DeVos, who of course serves a President dedicated to “America First,” was flying a Cayman Islands flag on her vessel. The partisan outrage machine instantly kicked into gear, howling that DeVos had avoided over $2 million in tax with the move.

Why would a Michigan billionaire, whose husband actually ran for Governor of that state, register her floating palace on a tiny flyspeck of an island 1,700 miles away? If she registers Seaquest in Michigan, she’s potentially subject to the Wolverine State’s 6% use tax, or $2.4 million. She’s subject to U.S. safety and inspection standards. And her crew is subject to U.S. labor requirements. Registering the yacht in the Caymans lets her meet a considerably less-demanding set of standards. (Think “island time,” but apply that concept to maritime rules and regulations.)

So DeVos is a high-class hypocrite, right, exploiting loopholes to save millions and cheat the kids she’s sworn to serve? Well, if so, she’s hardly alone. Sailing under a “flag of convenience” has a long and sometimes-even-honorable history. Early American merchantmen flew under the British flag to avoid Barbary pirates. And if you’ve ever taken a cruise, you’ve done it yourself. Take Royal Caribbean’s brand-new $1.4 billion Symphony of the Seas. She’s the world’s largest cruise ship, with robot bartenders, 22 restaurants, 24 swimming pools. And she sails under a Bahamas flag.

What’s more, it turns out the headlines blaming Betsy for registering “a fleet of yachts” outside the country are, to use a loaded term, fake news. For one thing, it turns out Seaquest isn’t even Betsy’s boat. It’s actually owned by a company called R.D.V. International Marine, a subsidiary of the DeVos family office. And the family’s other nine yachts — the Blue Sky, Quantum Racing, Delta Victor, Reflection, Attitude, Sterling, Windquest, Zorro, and De Lus — are registered to ports in Michigan, Delaware, and Florida.

What’s our bottom line for this week? (Besides “don’t believe everything you read”?) The DeVos family may be a little showy with their money. But they didn’t get to be billionaires by wasting money on taxes they didn’t have to pay. So call us when you’re ready to start building your fleet and see what we can help you buy!

Mother Nature knew exactly what she was doing when she made babies cute. In fact, evolutionary biologists at Oxford University recently concluded they evolved that way to survive by encouraging the rest of us to look after them. “This is the first evidence of its kind to show that cuteness helps infants to survive by eliciting caregiving, which cannot be reduced to simple, instinctual behaviors,” says professor Morten Kringelbach. (And couldn’t Oxford have found something less obvious to study?)

Half the fun of meeting a new baby is looking to see what features they inherit from their parents. Daddy’s bright blue eyes? Mommy’s adorable button-nose? (Hopefully not the next-door neighbor’s goofy jug ears!) But did you know that some babies inherit more than their parents’ physical features? In California, some babies inherit their parents’ tax breaks!

Back in 1978, a group of Californians led by a cranky retired reporter named Howard Jarvis passed a ballot measure called Proposition 13. That law capped property taxes at 1% of a property’s assessed value and limited increases to 2% per year — regardless of how much its value actually goes up — until the owner sells. The goal was to keep inflation from raising taxes so high that they pushed owners, especially retirees living on fixed incomes, out of their homes.

Eight years later, Proposition 58 juiced that break by letting parents pass along their valuations, along with their houses, to their kids. The goal was to make it possible for them to keep living in the family home. But since then, we’ve discovered some unintended consequences. Supreme Court Justice Harry Blackmun even said it’s created “sort of a class of nobility in California.” His colleague, Justice Stevens, said it “establishes a privilege of a medieval character: Two families with equal needs and equal resources are treated differently solely because of their different heritage.”

Last month, the Los Angeles Times reported how this can pay off for heirs who don’t even live in their houses. In 2009, actors Jeff and Beau Bridges, along with their sister, inherited a Malibu house that their father Lloyd bought in the 1950s. And you can rent it today for the bargain price of $15,995/month! Yet the annual tax on the property, which Zillow estimates is worth $6.8 million, was just $5,700. The carryover valuation has saved the Bridges heirs more than $300,000 since they inherited it. In total, the Times reports it’s cost Los Angeles County $280 million last year.

California is the only state that dangles that particular property tax goodie. But Uncle Sam offers a similar break when Mom and Dad move to that great nursing home in the sky. It’s called “stepped-up basis.” Let’s say Mom and Dad paid $12,000 for a house in San Jose, back when you could do that. Now they’re smack in the middle of Silicon Valley, and developers are salivating to pay $2 million for the place. If Mom and Dad sell today, they’ll owe beaucoup tax on that gain. But if they hold it until death, you’ll avoid tax on any of the run-up in value before you inherit.

There’s good news here for everyone, even if you didn’t inherit a house on Malibu Beach. The federal and state tax laws are full of similar deductions, credits, loopholes, and strategies to pay less. You just have to go out and find them. That’s where we come in. So call us today, while there’s still time to plan for 2018, and see how much you’re overpaying. Then start planning for your next beach vacation!

The Infinite Monkey Theorem holds that if you sit an infinite number of monkeys down at an infinite number of typewriters, eventually one of them will bang out the complete works of William Shakespeare — or, at the very least, Hamlet. But do you know what those monkeys are banging out when they’re not banging out Shakespeare? The Internal Revenue Code, of course! (Sadly, the Infinite Monkey Theorem will probably never be more than just a theorem. For starters, can you imagine the smell in that room?)

The tax code may look like 70,000-odd pages of monkey-banging gibberish. But there really is a twisted logic to it. Think of it as a series of red lights and green lights. Red lights, like Section 1 (setting out rates), Section 1401 (imposing the net investment income tax), and Section 1432 (imposing employment taxes) make you stop and pay tax. Green lights, like Section 105 (making employer health benefits tax-free), Section 162 (making “ordinary and necessary” business expenses deductible), and Section 170 (making charitable gifts deductible) let you go without paying tax.

Last year’s Tax Cuts and Jobs Act added a new red light. Specifically, it capped deductions for state and local tax deductions at $10,000 per year. That’s an obvious blow to the states that reach the deepest into their residents’ pockets. In New York, for example, one-third of taxpayers claimed the deduction, averaging more than $20,000. In Alabama, just one-fourth claimed it, averaging just $6,000.

But the new limit hits taxpayers all over the country. Microsoft founder Bill Gates lives in Seattle, where there’s no state income tax. (Washington has one of the highest sales taxes in the country.) But last year, he paid $1,024,292.55 in property tax on his 66,000-square-foot mansion, “Xanadu 2.0.” It used to be that Uncle Sam picked up 39.6% of that bill. Now Gates has to cover it all himself.

Of course, human nature being what it is, we don’t always want to stop at those red lights. So society has developed an entire profession, called “the law,” dedicated to finding ways around them. (Even Pope Francis, when he announced the church’s opposition to capital punishment, left exceptions for people who drive the speed limit in the left-hand lane or bring Popeye’s fried chicken on an airplane.)

So it shouldn’t surprise you to learn that officials in some states are working to let residents turn right on that red light. New York and New Jersey have set up so-called “charitable” funds to pay for essential services like schools, then authorized dollar-for-dollar credits against their own taxes for contributions to those funds. Just like magic, your state tax bill transforms into a charitable contribution, not subject to the new limit. (We think Harry Potter would call this spell a “sketchius loopholius.”)

Of course, our friends back in the Home Office in Washington aren’t stupid. Last week, the Treasury Department issued proposed regulations effectively eliminating charitable deductions for gifts tied to state tax credits. But will that be the end of the story? Not if the states have their way, and they’re sure to take the Treasury to court. Round and round it goes . . . and now you know why tax lawyers drive Jaguars!

Bottom line? Most tax professionals focus on the red lights. That’s important, because blowing through them gets you in trouble. But that’s also where most tax pros stop. We’re different. We focus on finding the green lights that can save you thousands. So call us when you’re ready to go, and we’ll help take your foot off the brake!

Parenting is full of all sorts of milestones. Some of them are precious, like your child’s first steps, their first words, and their first day of school. Some of them are less welcome, like a first broken bone, or a visit from the law. But there’s one milestone that takes some parents by surprise, and that’s the day they realize they can’t help their kid with math homework anymore. This is especially jarring when the kids come home insisting their teacher taught them 2+2=5. The “new” math can’t be that different from the “old” math? It’s still just math, right?

Last week, a California lawsuit involving Monsanto Corporation’s flagship product, Roundup weed killer, reveals how the new math of last year’s tax law changes the rules. A San Francisco-area school groundskeeper named Dewayne Johnson, who sprayed up to 150 gallons of the pesticide at a time, sued Monsanto, claiming it gave him cancer. The jury agreed and awarded him $289 million, including $39 million in compensatory damages and $250 million in punitive damages.

Unfortunately for Johnson, he’s not going to get to keep anywhere near that whole $289 million. He’s going to run into some new math and wonder if maybe 2+2 doesn’t somehow equal just one.

Here’s the first problem: legal fees. Lots of attorneys go to law school because there’s no math. But there’s one calculation any ambulance chaser can do in his sleep, and that’s take a third off the top. (The next time you meet one at a party, throw out an 11-digit prime number, and be amazed how fast you get back a response. Try it, it’s fun!) We’ll assume for this discussion that Johnson’s lawyers take 40% in fees and expenses, or $115.6 million. That leaves him with $23.4 million net compensatory damages and $150 million in punitives.

That leads to the second problem: taxes. Compensatory damages are tax-free, so Johnson keeps his full $23.4 million there. And under the “old math,” he could deduct the remaining $100 million in legal fees before paying tax on his $250 million in punitive damages. He’ll be in the top 37% tax rate, meaning $55.5 million goes to Uncle Sam. As a California resident, another $18 million goes to Sacramento. That leaves $95 million. That’s a lot less than $289 million, of course. But it’s still a pretty nice result, although we’re guessing Johnson would rather get to “live” than “be rich.”

Now here’s where the “new math” upends those numbers. Last year’s Tax Cuts and Jobs Act eliminates the deduction for legal fees related to punitive damages. So now Johnson pays the same $100 million to his lawyers, but still pays tax on it. That launches his tax bill up to $122.5 million and leaves him with just $50.9 million — less than 18% of the original award!

Of course, the IRS is delighted. They get to collect tax on that $100 million in legal fees for the punitive damages twice: once from Johnson who wins them and again from the lawyers who earn them. What’s not to like from their perspective?

Now finally, here’s the good part, at least for you. You don’t have to know the first thing about new math to pay less tax. Our tax planning service gives you a pesticide that eliminates wasted taxes, with no unpleasant side effects. So call us when you’re ready to save, and we’ll see how “green” your garden grows!

The best marriages, so they say, age like fine wine. They gain richness, and color, and depth. They ripen and mellow as experience piles upon experience, bonding the couple and deepening the intimacy as husband and wife stroll hand-in-hand through the majestic tapestry of life. (Cue the rainbows, and unicorns, and George Harrison lyrics.)

Remy and Lara Trafelet didn’t have that kind of marriage. Their union aged more like milk. No, scratch that. Imagine strapping a toddler into his car seat to go see Grandma on a hot summer day. You hand him a sippy cup of milk to keep him pacified for the drive. Halfway there, he drops the cup and it rolls under the front seat — but you forget it’s there. Three weeks later, when you can’t ignore the smell, you find the results. What is it? Some mutant strain of . . . cottage cheese, maybe? Something even worse? That’s what happened to Remy and Lara’s marriage.

Ordinarily, the IRS wouldn’t care about a couple of feuding spouses. But Remy is one of Wall Street’s fatter cats, a hedge fund manager who did well enough before the recession to treat 100 of his employees to a long weekend at Venice’s five-star Hotel Bauer. He’s struggled a bit since then but he’s still worth $200 million or so. That’s enough to give the IRS a stake in the fight — although maybe not what you think.

From the outside, the Trafelets lived an enviable life. They split their days between a $15 million Park Avenue apartment, a $10 million Long Island house, a grouse-hunting estate in Scotland, a quail-hunting estate in Georgia, and two more houses. (Seriously, did they really shoot so many birds they needed two estates for it?) They supported a personal trainer, a chauffeur, a private chef, and a 16-seat jet. Apparently, though, all that money failed to buy happiness, and the couple filed for divorce in 2015.

Lara may not have loved her husband anymore. But she still loved the money. So, she hired a squad of accounting ninjas to “kick him between his legs and bring him to his knees.” And the ninjas were happy to oblige, working “around the clock” to sort through Remy’s “multi-layered complex web of business entities.” They even set up a dedicated conference area called the “War Room” for Lara to use. That effort helped convince a judge to bump her interim alimony from $17,000 to $45,000 per month.

But financial samurai don’t come cheap, and when they sent Lara a bill for $4.2 million, she freaked. Now she’s fighting them in court, too! (Honestly, it sounds like it sucks to be Lara.) Here’s where our friends at the IRS come in. The good news is, legal fees for arranging alimony are deductible. So Lara should be able to write off at least part of her bill. The bad news is, the rules are about to change, and starting in January, alimony won’t figure into taxes anymore. So she better hope she can wrap things up fast!

Now, lots of us have a painful breakup or two under our belt. But we’ve never had to put our accountants’ kids through college to sort it out!

Fortunately, not all accounting ninjas bill millions. Take us, for example. We can help make sure you aren’t paying more tax than you legally owe. And we promise not to bill you seven figures unless we save you millions more. So call us when you’re tired of overpaying, and we’ll even let you decide how to share it with your spouse!

Classic rock fans celebrated a milestone birthday on July 26: Rolling Stones frontman and rock legend Mick Jagger turned 75! If that doesn’t make you feel old, try these on for size: Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler is old enough to collect maximum Social Security benefits. Cyndi Lauper still just wants to have fun, but now she’s on Medicare. And 80s icon Madonna can finally take money from her IRA without paying a 10% penalty on early withdrawals.

In 1969, Jagger and the Stones scored one of their biggest hits with “Gimme Shelter,” a bleak, brooding meditation on the war and violence that characterized the late 60s. But did you know that “Gimme Shelter” describes the band’s philosophy on taxes, too?

The Stones’ troubles with taxes go back nearly as far as their troubles with the police. Starting in 1968, British authorities had accused the bandmates of taking a certain laissez-faire attitude to controlled substances laws. Later, reports surfaced that they had taken a similarly lax approach to tax laws, too. As Jagger recalls, “So after working for eight years, I discovered at the end that nobody had ever paid my taxes and I owed a fortune. So then you have to leave the country. So I said &@#& it, and left the country.”

At that point, guitarist Keith Richards paid $2,500/month for the 16-room Belle Époque-style Villa Nellcôte overlooking the Mediterranean on the French Côte D’Azur. (He should have bought it — in 2005, a Russian oligarch dropped $128 million for the place.) There, the band hosted a summer of legendary debauchery: drinking, smoking, snorting, and injecting anything that didn’t move. Somehow along the way, they also managed to record Exile on Main Street in a makeshift basement studio they had soundproofed with cheap carpet and (probably) more drugs.

Running from the law has a wonderful way of concentrating the mind, and the Stones vowed not to repeat their financial mistakes. (The drugs were another story.) Jagger put his London School of Economics education to work, and the band started jamming with some top-notch tax planners. They eventually set up a series of Dutch corporations and trusts which helped them pay just 1.6% in tax over the last 20-odd years. More recently, they established a pair of private Dutch foundations to avoid estate taxes at their deaths.

“Mick would come and visit me occasionally in Switzerland and talk about ‘economic restructuring,'” Richards wrote in his 2010 autobiography, Life. “We’re sitting around half the time talking about tax lawyers! The intricacies of Dutch tax law vis-à-vis the English tax law and the French tax law. All of these tax thieves were snapping at our heels . . . Mick picked up the slack; I picked up the smack.” (It’s worth mentioning that Richards — now heroin-free for 40 years — makes his home in decidedly unglamorous, but, relatively speaking, low-taxed Connecticut.)

Here at Financial Gravity, we may not be able to make beautiful music. But our tax planning rocks. And we think paying less beats fleeing the country. So call for your free Tax Assessment and see how much you’re wasting right now. We’re here for you, and your bandmates too!